my brain, is yes, still turning...
I still don't know for sure if mom is going or not...so I don't have to make a final decision yet...but of course it still is in my head. thank to Heather and Amy for commenting on my last blog post and saying sweet things! :) I know this may seem small, but to me its big. its a big decision to make because it will be in the past once the weekend is over. I don't want to have regrets. its a decision I am going to have to live with...
I have been trying to get some people (dad, mom, my bff, my sister-kinda-) to help me...but of course I am the one to have to make the final decision. they don't want to influence me in one way ;) I appreciate that alot. lol. but its hard...
I prayed this morning that God will just help me to make the right decision...I will keep you all updated :)
I hope you all are having a lovely week! mine has been a little different...I think March as a whole is going to be "different" but of course, what month isn't?! :)
going to try to blog alot more! :)
Love,
Lu
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
my brain.
as I was sitting upstairs I knew I needed to write a blog post...I haven't written one in a while, didn't keep up with my challenge, and I have had so many thoughts going through my brain today....
My Uncle Paul went to heaven at 2:30 am today...he is no longer suffering...and knowing that is a wonderful thing but it still causes my heart to hurt. I still am sad. my brain has been going in circles and thinking about things hard today. its been kinda a weird day...no, nothing is different...I still did school, we still laughed some, still ate supper, still did things....but it IS different. it was different KNOWING uncle Paul is gone...it was different knowing people were out there praying for all the family and posting comforting things....it was different thinking about things.
one of the things I have most been torn apart is this weekend. I regret not being able and not going to see Uncle Paul last weekend...but now I have the future and I can go to the funeral with my family. I want to go SO bad. be a support for mainly my cousins who have just lost a father...and to go because I WANT to go to be with my family during this time. I know I am a "great," I know I am not as "close" persay to Paul and Christy...but they ARE family. I DO know them...and I DO love them.
I am torn between going and staying. staying because I had many things here I was looking forward to...simple things like being with my best friend, seeing a friend at church on Sunday, being at my church, being in my teen Sunday School class, wearing my new maxi dress, and just being here.
All those things listed above, they can be repeated next weekend (for the most part). but i don't know...I am torn. but I am leaning more toward going...I think it would be good for me and I want to be there with my family.
personal post, I know....do you have any suggestions?
My Uncle Paul went to heaven at 2:30 am today...he is no longer suffering...and knowing that is a wonderful thing but it still causes my heart to hurt. I still am sad. my brain has been going in circles and thinking about things hard today. its been kinda a weird day...no, nothing is different...I still did school, we still laughed some, still ate supper, still did things....but it IS different. it was different KNOWING uncle Paul is gone...it was different knowing people were out there praying for all the family and posting comforting things....it was different thinking about things.
one of the things I have most been torn apart is this weekend. I regret not being able and not going to see Uncle Paul last weekend...but now I have the future and I can go to the funeral with my family. I want to go SO bad. be a support for mainly my cousins who have just lost a father...and to go because I WANT to go to be with my family during this time. I know I am a "great," I know I am not as "close" persay to Paul and Christy...but they ARE family. I DO know them...and I DO love them.
I am torn between going and staying. staying because I had many things here I was looking forward to...simple things like being with my best friend, seeing a friend at church on Sunday, being at my church, being in my teen Sunday School class, wearing my new maxi dress, and just being here.
All those things listed above, they can be repeated next weekend (for the most part). but i don't know...I am torn. but I am leaning more toward going...I think it would be good for me and I want to be there with my family.
personal post, I know....do you have any suggestions?
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