as I was sitting upstairs I knew I needed to write a blog post...I haven't written one in a while, didn't keep up with my challenge, and I have had so many thoughts going through my brain today....
My Uncle Paul went to heaven at 2:30 am today...he is no longer suffering...and knowing that is a wonderful thing but it still causes my heart to hurt. I still am sad. my brain has been going in circles and thinking about things hard today. its been kinda a weird day...no, nothing is different...I still did school, we still laughed some, still ate supper, still did things....but it IS different. it was different KNOWING uncle Paul is gone...it was different knowing people were out there praying for all the family and posting comforting things....it was different thinking about things.
one of the things I have most been torn apart is this weekend. I regret not being able and not going to see Uncle Paul last weekend...but now I have the future and I can go to the funeral with my family. I want to go SO bad. be a support for mainly my cousins who have just lost a father...and to go because I WANT to go to be with my family during this time. I know I am a "great," I know I am not as "close" persay to Paul and Christy...but they ARE family. I DO know them...and I DO love them.
I am torn between going and staying. staying because I had many things here I was looking forward to...simple things like being with my best friend, seeing a friend at church on Sunday, being at my church, being in my teen Sunday School class, wearing my new maxi dress, and just being here.
All those things listed above, they can be repeated next weekend (for the most part). but i don't know...I am torn. but I am leaning more toward going...I think it would be good for me and I want to be there with my family.
personal post, I know....do you have any suggestions?
3 comments:
I'm so sorry about your uncle :(
On March 25 it'll have been a whole year since losing someone who was like an older sister to me, I don't know what I'd do without the hope of heaven. <3 And now I'm going to start crying here. :) *hugs*
Prayers and blessings, girl. <3 If you ever need to talk, I'm available. :)
I'm so sorry for your loss! When you lose someone you love it always feels like the whole world should stop because life without them is unimaginable. I'm so grateful that this life isn't all there is and we'll be reunited with our loved ones in heaven. I'll be praying for you in your decision making.
Amy-
thank you so much. Heaven is a wonderful thing! it is such a comfort to know we will see these special people again! thanks girl! I love you! <3
Heather-
Thank you so much. Heaven is something i am looking forward to! so many of my special family members have gone already to their eternal home and I miss them...but knowing we can see them again...is amazing! :) thank you so much for the prayers! I love ya! <3
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