Monday, September 23, 2013

emotions.

yesterday, the emotions were crazy... I kept tearing up and sometimes crying... in the car, in church, at home, when dad coughed so bad he couldn't catch his breath... it was an emotional day yesterday, and I don't even know why. except that I am facing the everyday reality that my dad's health is quickly declining...
to watch him have to use oxygen everywhere we go... to see him not want to walk very much because the tumor in his shoulder hurts him when he walks, to see him cough so bad it hurts, to watch him sleep and rest way more then he used to... to watch that go getter of a dad I had a few months ago, slowly fade... it's crushing this girl's heart... I try my best to not focus on those things all of the time, and focus on other things, but it's hard not to remember when you hear the pumping of the oxygen, hear the coughing of your dad, and see all of this before your eyes.
I'm trying right now to remember the verse... that tells us that God won't give us more than we can handle... clinging to that promise right now.
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (from 1 Corinthians 10:13, NKJ)

I believe that God is also talking here about the trials we go through in life...

whatever you are going through in your life right now, whether you feel like it's a big thing or a little thing, it's enough to matter to God, and He won't give you more than you can take... remember that this week.

Luanna

4 comments:

Alan and Brenda said...

Thanks for sharing here again. It brought tears and encouragement at the same time. God is always near. Love you!

Nan said...

Love ya,Lu! We will continue to pray for you and your family. (((Hugs)))

jdoubledee said...

Luanna, We have all been touched and moved in some way over the past couple of years while following your father's journey. While we have never met, and may never meet in this lifetime, I feel like we are "family" because of the attachment that comes from following and praying for you all. We are family in the sense we are brothers and sisters in the Lord, and we will meet one day on "those beautiful shores" "where the sun never fades". Keep pressing on and hanging in there. It may be tough, but God's grace will bring peace that passes all understanding. Our prayers will continue for you all.

Janet said...

DEAR SWEET LUANNA, How my heart breaks for you and your family and how I can SO RELATE to what you feel. I was VERY CLOSE to my daddy too and he also had cancer (actually 3 kinds of cancer) and I watched him slowly lose weight, not be able to eat, suffer unbearably and go from a very active and healthy man to one that looked like he was a POW. Cancer is an ugly thing and has destroyed so many lives and homes. The positive side of my dad's story is that he loved God and he was ready to meet God when dad was called home. I sometimes think about how much more difficult it would have been if my daddy didn't know Jesus and refused to give his heart to the Lord before he died. I think that would be SO UNBEARABLE. So many have experienced that and the ending of that story is death with nothing beyond to be happy about. THANK the LORD, our stories have a POSITIVE ENDING because we both know there is LIFE after DEATH for our earthy fathers. What a wonderful legacy your father has give to you and your siblings. What an example of LOVE, STRENGTH, COURAGE, STAMINA, DEEP SPIRITUAL TRUST IN GOD AND INNER PEACE WHILE FIGHTING THE HARDEST BATTLE HE HAS EVER KNOWN. Only God can give a person all those qualities. Your sweet daddy has inspired SO MANY with his testimony and his STRONG fight the past 3 years, including me. The only thing I can leave with you is this....though it is hard to see these things come to pass, you can be assured that GOD especially understands your heartache as he watched Jesus go to the cross, suffer and die for our sins. BUT there is VICTORY over death for us in JESUS because of that torture He endured. There is also VICTORY for your sweet daddy as he has FOUGHT SUCH A HARD BATTLE and YET HE STILL LOOKS TO JESUS. He has not given up or given in as many would do. HOW PROUD of him you must be. I was SO PROUD of my daddy too. He never complained even when it was VERY PAINFUL and he never gave up the fight. I know he is waiting for me with Jesus in Heaven and someday I will see him again. Keep that sweet smile and that loving joy in your heart, make EVERY MINUTE you have with your daddy a SPECIAL ONE....MAKE THEM COUNT. ASK GOD FOR GUIDANCE AND STRENGTH AND hold on tight to the scripture of God's Word. THAT is where the real strength will come from. I LOVE YOU SWEETIE....BIG HUGS and KISSES ON YOUR CHEEK....Love, Jannie <3